Saturday, August 06, 2016

Polls show shift in Cookie mood

Chocolate Chip’s Lead Shrinks; Iced Maple and Monster Support Swells
Associated Press – August 6th, 2016

CAMP CHIPPEWA – With just one day left before official polling, a sudden upswing among two trailing candidates indicates all is not certain in the Great Cookie Vote of 2016. 

According to the NBC News poll of upper camp, support for Chocolate Chip stands at 34%--the lowest thus far leading up to the election.  Overall, this number marks a 16-point drop from initial polls, suggesting that while still strong, support for Chocolate Chip is fading. 

Meanwhile, support for two trailing candidates shows a marked upswing.  Iced Maple and Monster each polled at 18%--double the amount of support found in the most recent poll.

“The numbers say it all,” said Iced Maple Campaign Manager Karl Maher.  “The Iced Maple has always been there for us, and people are finally starting to realize it.” 

Write-ins inconsistent and controversial
While previous polls have shown a low but consistent support for unofficial candidate Cereal cookie, supporters could not be found in this poll.  Instead, a small group of potential voters indicated their favorite cookie to be Snickerdoodle.

“Even though Snickerdoodle’s campaign is struggling, I know there are people out there who like Snickerdoodle the best,” said self-appointed Snickerdoodle Campaign Manager Jack Deneen.  Snickerdoodle has not declared any official candidacy.

Another unofficial candidate receiving votes is the Mars Bar.  However, many question whether or not Mars Bar could officially be named the Best Cookie in Camp should it win the election.

“Official rules state that only cookies qualify for the title of the Best Cookie in Camp,” said Election Commissioner Sutton Stewart.  “If Mars Bar receives the most votes, a panel of officials would have to decide whether or not Mars Bar meets the qualifications.  If [the panel] finds that it does not, then the candidate that receives the next highest vote total will be named the winner.”

Crinkle faces questions
While polls indicate minimal support for the controversial Mars Bar campaign, one of the leading candidates is facing a similar scrutiny. 

“A lot of people think the Crinkle Cookie is really a brownie,” said Unofficial Chocolate Chip Fanboy Ryan Scheibmeir.  “I’d like to see its birth certificate to prove otherwise.”

The Crinkle campaign has so far refused to share any documents but assert that the cookie meets all the requirements for candidacy.

In the NBC News poll, Chocolate Crinkle received 13% of the vote, and Peanut Butter received just 3%.


Voters will make their official decision on Sunday.

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